My Sensitive Guy Theory

Timesunion.com

Do you know any sensitive guys? If so, I bet they like strawberry ice cream.
Go ahead. Test it. I have yet to find this to be untrue.

The converse, however, isn't necessarily true. Just because a guy likes strawberry ice cream doesn't make him sensitive. But then again, if your married and/or have boys, you might disagree with me all together and say that all guys are sensitive. Both my hubs and older son love strawberry ice cream. Go figure. :)

BTW, did you know Haagen Dazs shrunk the size of their container from 16 ounces to 14! Everyone's cheaping out these days.

Going to Stay Home

For the last month, I've been thinking about going back to work...not full time, but part time. The main reason was financial but a small part of me was kind of excited to do something of my own again. The tricky part was that if I did work part time, I'd have to make enough to cover the cost of hiring help and have enough left over to help with the bills and such. Going back to my marketing project management life would take care of that easily but doing contract project work would not give me the flexibility I need with my kids. I considered a handful of other opportunities including helping a friend with a start up. In the end, I came to my senses. WHAT WAS I THINKING!!? I have three kids, one being only 4 months old. How would I possibly juggle all this and be sane? That version of me would NOT be good for my husband and kids. As usual, I'm trying to do too much. So net net, I'm relieved to stay a fulltime stay at home mom.

If anything, I've been feeling like things, important things, are all over the place. I don't feel like I've been doing anything well lately.  Now that Iann's a little bit easier, I need to get refocused and prioritize once again. Discipline, allergies, encouragement, Ellie's birthday, holidays...just some of the things top of mind.

You know, I should've known better than to start looking for a job right now. My rule of thumb is never to let money be the deciding factor for any of my decisions.

PS. I got some photos from a friend so I updated my pumpkin post.

Insecurities

What does Maxx think of school?
Does he cooperate in class?
Is he making friends?
Is he learning?
Does he think I'm abandoning him when I leave?
What does Maxx's teacher think of him?
What does Maxx's teacher think of me as a mom? As a person?
What do the other kids think of Maxx?
What do the other parents think of Maxx?
What do the other parents think of me as a mom? As a person?
Will Maxx learn to socialize and gain confidence so he can be successful in life?

I was extremely shy, quiet and introverted growing up. I lived in my sister's shadow and thought I was the most boring and "normal" person alive. At the time, the only area I was confident in was my studies.

None of my friends now would ever guess that I was like this as a child. (Well, except the nerd part.) In college, after finding God to be real in my life, I became confident and often times had too much to say. And post college, it just continued and I found myself a happier person.

Lately, I've been feeling like the adolecent version of myself and I'm not liking it. All these questions have crossed my mind repeatedly...some more than others. I wonder if it's just me or if this is normal. After becoming a mom, I've definitely regressed a bit in the confidence arena. And having 3 kids in such a short timeframe...it's not helping.

Whether or not these questions are typical of a mom new to the world of school aged kids...I do know that I'm not trusting God as much as I used to. Life is so much harder now and so I need to work harder at trusting God with everything. I need to remember that includes my kids and every aspect of who they are.

Cutting Costs

Could these 3 little ones really be sucking up all our money? Uhhh...yeah!

On top of the usual costs such as clothes, food, healthcare, diapers/wipes and the such, preschool's really the first big budget item we've come across to date and so it's only just begun.

According to this USDA calculator, our kids will cost us a total of $46k/year until they're 18. (I tried a couple of cost calculators and this was actually the lowest result. You can also adjust the numbers to include any exact costs you already are aware of.)

As for college, according to CNNMoney.com's calculator, it'll cost anywhere from $65-90k/year for each of my kids. There will be 3 years during which I will have 2 kids in college at the same time and 1 year, all 3. Um...yeah, no comment.

So while Gunn is working on bigger vision for our family's finances, I'm making some efforts to trim our current expenses further. I don't think our spending is frivolous so it's going to be hard to do this but I'm determined to make changes that will have real noticable results in our bank account.
In no particular order, here's what I got:

1. HAND ME DOWN CLOTHING
I'll still get a couple of special items but only if they're on sale. Fortunately, Iann's birthday is only a week after Maxx's so I can recylce all the boys clothes and get double use. I got a ton of stuff from a friend for Maxx & Ellie. It felt like Christmas. Thanks S!
>  I spend at least $150 about 4x/year for both M & E so I could probably save at least $500 here.

2. NURSE
I nursed Maxx for 3 months, then supplemented for the next 3 months, then went fully to formula at 6 months. Ellie was almost completely a formula fed baby because there was just too much pain and difficulty. They say it's hard to go back to breastfeeding after not doing it for the last child. Well it's true but I am proud to say that I did it! And I'm so glad cause it's so much better for him too.
> They say you spend an average of $40 on formula/wk on babies. So in the remaining 9 months, I should be saving about $1500 by nursing Iann.

3. EAT WHAT WE HAVE
I need to cook and eat what we have in the fridge, freezer, pantry and garage (more storage) before stocking up on new stuff. And no more ordering in to satisy a quick craving. Sometimes I need to remind myself I'm not pregnant anymore!
> I'm going to ballpark the cost of all the food I have in my house at about $250.

4. CUT DOWN EXPENSIVE FOOD SHOPPING
This includes the best cuts of prime rib from COSTCO, angus kalbi from Hmart (Korean supermarket), meat/cheeses, various seafood, etc. My household tends to buy the absolute best quality for everything as well as expensive types of foods on a regular basis. Must save it for the special occassions. Good thing we don't have big drinkers in the house.
> This will easily save us at least $500/year.

5. EAT OUT ONLY WHEN I HAVE A COUPON
Between restaurant.com and all the groupon-like sites, I have a few stocked up and there're always great deals so I'm hoping to never have to pay in full for a restaurant experience again...unless I'm not the organizer.
> If I estimate one date night/month, plus some of our special occassions, we should be able to save at least $350/year.

6. PACK LUNCH
To be realistic, for Gunn, I'll aim to do 3 out 5 days/week. Sandwiches, pasta, leftovers...should be doable. Also, no more buying expensive lunches at parks, zoos, etc.
> Gunn spends $8 on average per day. If I'm conservative and estimate $3/packed lunch, then I'm saving $5/day which is $15/wk multiplied by 50 weeks (accounting for 2 weeks of vacation). Tack on another $100 for weekend family trips and you get $850.

7. DRINK WATER AND MAKE COFFEE AT HOME
Don't buy juice or soda when water's the healthier and cheaper option. And anticipate (iced) coffee cravings and make it at home to take with me on the road.
> If I cut out 1 juice/soda and 1 iced coffee/wk, I'd save over $200/year.

8. CONTINUE CUTTING KIDS HAIR AT HOME
I've been cutting the kids hair at home and was going to only do it for a little bit since the kids are so young but I think I'll continue. All the practice has gotten me pretty decent anyways.
> $25/cut x 2 boys x 12 months = $600, $25 x 4 times for Ellie = $100....nets at $700/year

9. BUY ONLY WHAT WE NEED
Until finances are in a better place, no more "wants" allowed. This includes toys for the kids as well as home goods and accessories for myself and electronics and games for Gunn.
Only exception will be gifts which we will cap at $50/occassion.

10. SHOP AROUND FOR BETTER RATES
Many people I know have saved hundreds by doing this for car insurance.

11. SAVE ON GAS
Check out this article on 75 gas saving tips. Not sure how to quantify this but it's eco-friendly as well.

12. SELL STUFF
Ebay, Craigslist or Amazon baby and maternity items, as well as general household items. My things are in top notch condition so I should be able to get something decent. My dad is trying to clean out his place so I'll be doing this for him too. Maybe I'll get some commission. ha!
> With all the baby gear I have, I should be able to get at least $500 in a year's time.

13. NO BIG VACATIONS
But only until our finances are better. How we will determine when that will be? Not sure. But we haven't been on a vacation since we had Maxx and don't plan on considering any until Iann is at least 2. Before we got married we spent thousands every year on multiple trips. I definitely appreciate the luxury of going on vacations now.

14. EBATES.COM AND MYPOINTS.COM
If I'm going to buy something online anyway, might as well collect points for free money & gift cards later on.
> I should be able to earn at least $100 in cash and gift cards in a year's time. It's likely only this low since I'm trying to not do any shopping anytime soon.

15. COLLEGE FUND GIFTS
When someone asks what gifts to get the kids, the answer will always be "college fund please".

16. GIVE GENEROUSLY BUT WISELY
I have the tendency to want to treat people often so sometimes I can be naive about it. I love to give and share but I need to do it "smarter". My friends and family think that some people take advantage of me in this way and that's not doing anyone any good.

17. REVIEW MY SPENDING
Make our "loose budget" more detailed & review Amex bill and bank account balances on a regular basis. Reviewing the numbers on a regular basis keeps you in check because it's so easy to stray from a budget.

18. PRAY
Trust God with our overall finances.

Sometimes it's hard to think that all the little things will make a difference but I truly believe they will. The quantifiable savings above total to over $5k. Think about someone handing you a check for $5k one day and maybe that'll motivate you.

If you have any suggestions for any additional ways to save, please share!

Fresh Start?

So I've been doing some thinking lately. I thinking about starting fresh with a new blog. Now that I've been blogging for a little bit, I have a better idea of what I want my blog to look, feel and sound like. I also want to do it right with little but important things like giving proper photo credits and such. And lastly, I also want to start documenting the possible start of a business idea I have. It'll still have the most important part which is my family so the only name I've come up with so far (that someone else hasn't used yet) is honeydoolittledays.com.

2 Week Staycation

The nature of my hub's job requires him to take a 2 week vacation. So he gets to be home with the family for 2 weeks straight! I know, awesome, right?

He said he wanted to make sure we had good family time but also got a lot of our "errands" done. He made a consolidated list of everything & it's my job to plan & schedule our days so we can do as much as we can, without killing ourselves.

So here's what we have, in no particular order:

1. Mall with my MIL

2. Children's Museum of Manhattan

3. Apple/pumpking picking with my MIL & hub's brother's family

4. Bear Mountain with my MIL & maybe hub's bro's family (G loves this place.)

5. Get magic straight perm for my new post 2 kid afro

6. Ptouch label bins on shelves in garage

7. Buy cordless dustbuster (I have no idea how I survived this long without one.)
8. Buy night light? (M's been scared of the dark lately since his bedtime is dark now, with longer nights.)
9. Get smartphones (Wahoo! It would add SERIOUS efficiency to my days.)
10. Make some concerted effort to take family pictures, esp. of E since her 1st birthday is coming up.
11. Add pics to family album
12. Get flu shots
13. Reformat & reinstall my computer. It's been on the fritz.
14. Hang magnet boards by M's desk
15. Hang M's nameplate letters (Long overdue since we moved him and rearranged his room so many times.)
16. Lunch with friend for her birthday
17. Plan a party for another friend
18. Bake some sweets for a sick friend
19. Finalize all ideas for E's 1st birthday party
20. Finish guest list & send invitations for E's party
21. Make dohl go-eems for E's party
22. Pick up kiddie placemats from BuyBuyBaby
23. Update recipe book
24. Dry cleaning
25. Clean house - major items such as kitchen & bathrooms
26. Organize kids clothes
27. Old Navy returns/exchanges
28. Walmart
29. Hmart with my MIL
30. Costco with my MIL
31. Make kimchee with my MIL
32. Cook at least 2 new meals for the family. You know, not the usual.
33. Cook at least 5 new foods for E
34. Bake something for my MIL
35. Make dinner for my MIL at least 5 times. So far I'm thinking dwenjang jigae & fish, dakdoritang, linguine with white clam sauce...need more ideas. Can't go too crazy. Don't have time and she's got a typical Korean palette. Anyone??
36. Try on (buy?) a pair of Gap's skinny cords. I hear they're SUPER flattering. Check 'em out!

I definitely won't look like that in them, but I wouldn't mind if I could look half as good...after I get them hemed a good few inches. ha~!

Anyways, I'm aiming to have at least 30 of these done! Am I being naive??
I love lists. They make me happy. They make everything doable, or at least reduces the stress factor. :)

How many do you think I'll be able to get done in the 2 weeks?

Getting Out of the House

From left to right: Gunn's coffee with half & half and splenda, my sister's coffee only half filled with regular milk & splenda, Maxx's milk, Maxx's water, and now Ellie's bottle of hot water at just the right temperature so it hits room temp by the time she needs to eat.

Not included in photo: MY coffee, VERY important.

The number of drink containers I prep every Sunday am has now grown to 5. This is probably the easiest part of my Sunday morning. It wasn't too bad with just Maxx but now it really requires planning. Today was my first time back at church since I had Ellie. (I was only going to wait a month like I had with Maxx but we all got hit with colds right around Christmas so it took a bit longer.) Last night I worked out the Sunday AM sched with Gunn but even with all that prep, we were still rushing and 10 minutes late for service. Erg.

My mom lives with us in our 3 bedroom and my sis lives in the ground floor apartment. This is what my Sundays mornings will now look like in 2010:

7:00a - Wake up, wash up & get ready while Gunn feeds Ellie then washes up while watching her

7:30a - Make coffee, feed Maxx

8:00a - Find something to eat with my coffee, pack all the drinks mentioned above as well as snacks for Maxx

8:30a - Find/make something for Gunn to eat

8:45a - Gunn brings Ellie & her carseat down and has his coffee and a bite to eat

8:50a - Gunn drives my mom to her church & then comes back to pick up the rest of us

9:05a - Gunn packs all the bags and baby stroller into the car, then comes back up for Ellie

           I put on Maxx's jacket, hat, mittens & shoes and bring him to the car

9:15a - Leave for church (9:30a service)

* Can you tell I was a project manager pre-babies?

All this doesn't include packing the diaper bag the night before. Sorta sucks having a winter baby 'cause not only does everyone get sick all the time but you have to carry around extra blankets, warm clothes for babies, etc. Makes everything take so much longer.

This schedule only has 10 minutes padded in, in case anything goes wrong like having to change either kiddie's clothes a 2nd time. It doesn't even include getting Maxx dressed & giving him some milk in the morning which my mom does for me since they share a room. I don't know how moms with 2 or more kids do it without any help. My heros I tell you.

Today, I got up late so I didn't get to drink any coffee and only got to eat half a banana I shared with Maxx. And Gunn only got a hobbang with his cup of coffee. This is unfortunately becoming a pattern. Sorry Gunn. I used to never eat breakfast but ever since I got preggers the first time, I make it a point to eat something in the morning. I'm not one to eat right but I realize it makes SUCH a difference.

I was so focused on getting to church on time this morning that I forgot why I go to church. But as I stood there in the theater during praise, it all felt so good. I missed worship time. With life being so much more hectic now, there is less God in my life but now is the time that I need more. Hopefully, in near future posts, I'll have figured out how to do that.

So the only thing I forgot to do this morning was pack my camera. I wanted to take pics of our church kiddies. I swear they are the cutest things in the world.

Here's Maxx & his bud Kayla before their younger sibs were born.

I'll have to take a bunch of pics sometime to show you how freakin' cute all the kiddies are. For now, I leave you with another Maxx video. It's for my chef sister who taught Maxx how to say "oil". I swear, Maxx is getting cuter, smarter and more entertaining every day. I'm probably so biased right now 'cause he doesn't want anyone lately, except me. He's extra loving towards me lately and I'm a down right sucker for it!

Why?

It's been ages since I've Xanga'd cause life got a bit hectic when I had a baby. Now, a year and a half and another baby later, I've decided to start blogging again. As it is, I can barely find time to eat and shower but I'm determined to do my best to decently keep up with it...the site that is. It all started cause I recently started following a few mom blogs that I found myself really liking. I figured, I think I can do this...I am a pretty open person, right?

So I thought time was flying with just M but now with E too, OMG, the weeks go by and I have no idea what I did that week and I feel like I've gotten so little done. I don't want time to fly by and realize years later that I didn't make holidays as special as I'd liked to for my family, or that I didn't teach my kids certain things when it was my job to, or worst of all, that I didn't fulfill God's purpose for my life. Being the productive natured God fearing person that I am, that scares the crap out of me. With the new year starting, I found myself needing to refocus.

Gees, that sounded really serious which is so unlike me. My postings will probably be far from it, too. hahah...
I mainly just want to document my family's life so I can see if I'm being and doing all the things I hoped to as a wife and mom, and just as me. And also in a sort of J&K+8 way, easily record my kids lives. I probably won't be able write as much as I'd like to about G since he's the private introverted one of the two of us and he'll probably be reading every post...boo.

So yeah, here I go...