Ellie is 3!

This post is waaaay overdue but I wanted to make sure to write my Ellie a little note when I found some time.

Dear Ellie,

This past year you've become a real little girl, no more baby Ellie. You started a 2's preschool program and are doing amazingly. You still miss me now and then but you always get over it and are that happy little camper you are. It takes literally, so little, to make you happy. I love that. Some people say you're just like me but in all honesty, I wish I was like you. You're so free spirited and you love people so easily and somehow get them to love you in the blink of an eye. You are such the determined one. You demand (I mean ask, haha) to do everything yourself...everything. You always try and if you need help, will then always ask. Then you'll try again and when you finally get it, you beam with pride and I always laugh cause in that moment, I feel like we're the same person. From getting yourself dressed and undressed by yourself to coming in and out of the car/carseat all by yourself, it all has helped me sooooo much these past few months in raising you and your brothers. You have no idea right now but one day you'll know. ;)

You know, everytime you see your oppa at school, I hear you guys cause a commotion...like long lost loves. Even though it's not okay to tackle hug each other at school, I hope you two are always that close and that as Iann gets older, that you bring him into that special bond as well.

Sometimes I tell people you're like a little boy, the way you are so crazy and wild in how you play with your brother and the other boys. But you are so much a sweet little girl and the way you love clothes, accessories and PINK! I used to dread that color but now it just reminds me of you so I'm good with it too. And oh, you know what I love? I love love love that you love arts and crafts! You make the wanna-be crafter in me so happy.

More than anything, I hope you always know how special you are. And how beautiful you are on the inside, not just the outside! We need to work on that a bit, haha. God gave you this gift of sweetness. Your hugs heal and cure. You just plop yourself on people's laps or lean up against them and although I love how affectionate you are, it makes me worry about your future and boys!!

Before I go, I want to apologize for all my mistakes, the times I've hurt your feelings with my words or tone. I'm definitely far from perfect. I hope you know how much I love you and really am trying my best to mold you the way I think God wants me to. Sometimes I may go overboard, I'm learning too, so thanks for your immediate smiles.

Happy Birthday again to my special little girl.

Love you so much,
Your mommy

Iann is 1!

My handsome little man Iann!

I can not believe you are 1 already. Time flies faster these days than they ever have. First I must thank you for being the easy baby of the family! God really knew how much I could handle and made it all doable. You are such a happy baby. You love to smile and laugh at anything and everyone. You are sensitive, yet still flexible. You eat and sleep so well. And you play so well anywhere, always taking the time to carefully observe things in depth. You make everyone love and want to have babies because of your sweet and adorable behavior. And we can't not mention how you look like me! Well, my side of the family at least. :)

Your first word was appa (daddy), then Ellie, then umma (mommy). You need to learn how to say hyung-ah (older bro) fast though, cause Maxx gets sad when you only say Ellie. haha.

You are our last baby so I love that I was able to really enjoy time with you while you were so little. Life will always be busy but please know forever that you are never last and that you have my love equally. I'll want you to be my baby forever so hope you don't get too annoyed by that and understand how much I love you and how you hold such a special place in my heart.

With deep love,
Umma

Maxx is 4!

Photos by MPark                                                                                                                                    

Dear Maxx.

Happy 4th Birthday! You're such a big boy now! You're in school now, you listen SO much better these days, and you help me so much now too!. Even though you still have the cutest cheeks, you have more of a boyish face, rather than the baby face you've had for so long. You still love to make those you love, laugh. You'll do anything to be funny, even when you're in so much trouble. You're so charming and I know you will sweep girls right off their feet! You remain so particular and your senses so keen! You keep us all on our toes with your amazing memory and knack for curiosity. Ms. Jenny, your teacher, said you're going to be an engineer. Whether or not you are, I pray you do what God's built you to do and what you love...using that engineering brain of yours. BTW, besides your favorite color still being green and your still LOVING buttery popcorn, your current favorite show right now is "How it's made" on the SCI channel. LOL.

You're my big kid so I don't always know what to do but I know I love you so much so I'm always trying my best to be the best mom for you.

And I know that you love me so much. Thank you for loving me so much Maxx.

Your biggest fan,
Umma

Going to Stay Home

For the last month, I've been thinking about going back to work...not full time, but part time. The main reason was financial but a small part of me was kind of excited to do something of my own again. The tricky part was that if I did work part time, I'd have to make enough to cover the cost of hiring help and have enough left over to help with the bills and such. Going back to my marketing project management life would take care of that easily but doing contract project work would not give me the flexibility I need with my kids. I considered a handful of other opportunities including helping a friend with a start up. In the end, I came to my senses. WHAT WAS I THINKING!!? I have three kids, one being only 4 months old. How would I possibly juggle all this and be sane? That version of me would NOT be good for my husband and kids. As usual, I'm trying to do too much. So net net, I'm relieved to stay a fulltime stay at home mom.

If anything, I've been feeling like things, important things, are all over the place. I don't feel like I've been doing anything well lately.  Now that Iann's a little bit easier, I need to get refocused and prioritize once again. Discipline, allergies, encouragement, Ellie's birthday, holidays...just some of the things top of mind.

You know, I should've known better than to start looking for a job right now. My rule of thumb is never to let money be the deciding factor for any of my decisions.

PS. I got some photos from a friend so I updated my pumpkin post.

Cutting Costs

Could these 3 little ones really be sucking up all our money? Uhhh...yeah!

On top of the usual costs such as clothes, food, healthcare, diapers/wipes and the such, preschool's really the first big budget item we've come across to date and so it's only just begun.

According to this USDA calculator, our kids will cost us a total of $46k/year until they're 18. (I tried a couple of cost calculators and this was actually the lowest result. You can also adjust the numbers to include any exact costs you already are aware of.)

As for college, according to CNNMoney.com's calculator, it'll cost anywhere from $65-90k/year for each of my kids. There will be 3 years during which I will have 2 kids in college at the same time and 1 year, all 3. Um...yeah, no comment.

So while Gunn is working on bigger vision for our family's finances, I'm making some efforts to trim our current expenses further. I don't think our spending is frivolous so it's going to be hard to do this but I'm determined to make changes that will have real noticable results in our bank account.
In no particular order, here's what I got:

1. HAND ME DOWN CLOTHING
I'll still get a couple of special items but only if they're on sale. Fortunately, Iann's birthday is only a week after Maxx's so I can recylce all the boys clothes and get double use. I got a ton of stuff from a friend for Maxx & Ellie. It felt like Christmas. Thanks S!
>  I spend at least $150 about 4x/year for both M & E so I could probably save at least $500 here.

2. NURSE
I nursed Maxx for 3 months, then supplemented for the next 3 months, then went fully to formula at 6 months. Ellie was almost completely a formula fed baby because there was just too much pain and difficulty. They say it's hard to go back to breastfeeding after not doing it for the last child. Well it's true but I am proud to say that I did it! And I'm so glad cause it's so much better for him too.
> They say you spend an average of $40 on formula/wk on babies. So in the remaining 9 months, I should be saving about $1500 by nursing Iann.

3. EAT WHAT WE HAVE
I need to cook and eat what we have in the fridge, freezer, pantry and garage (more storage) before stocking up on new stuff. And no more ordering in to satisy a quick craving. Sometimes I need to remind myself I'm not pregnant anymore!
> I'm going to ballpark the cost of all the food I have in my house at about $250.

4. CUT DOWN EXPENSIVE FOOD SHOPPING
This includes the best cuts of prime rib from COSTCO, angus kalbi from Hmart (Korean supermarket), meat/cheeses, various seafood, etc. My household tends to buy the absolute best quality for everything as well as expensive types of foods on a regular basis. Must save it for the special occassions. Good thing we don't have big drinkers in the house.
> This will easily save us at least $500/year.

5. EAT OUT ONLY WHEN I HAVE A COUPON
Between restaurant.com and all the groupon-like sites, I have a few stocked up and there're always great deals so I'm hoping to never have to pay in full for a restaurant experience again...unless I'm not the organizer.
> If I estimate one date night/month, plus some of our special occassions, we should be able to save at least $350/year.

6. PACK LUNCH
To be realistic, for Gunn, I'll aim to do 3 out 5 days/week. Sandwiches, pasta, leftovers...should be doable. Also, no more buying expensive lunches at parks, zoos, etc.
> Gunn spends $8 on average per day. If I'm conservative and estimate $3/packed lunch, then I'm saving $5/day which is $15/wk multiplied by 50 weeks (accounting for 2 weeks of vacation). Tack on another $100 for weekend family trips and you get $850.

7. DRINK WATER AND MAKE COFFEE AT HOME
Don't buy juice or soda when water's the healthier and cheaper option. And anticipate (iced) coffee cravings and make it at home to take with me on the road.
> If I cut out 1 juice/soda and 1 iced coffee/wk, I'd save over $200/year.

8. CONTINUE CUTTING KIDS HAIR AT HOME
I've been cutting the kids hair at home and was going to only do it for a little bit since the kids are so young but I think I'll continue. All the practice has gotten me pretty decent anyways.
> $25/cut x 2 boys x 12 months = $600, $25 x 4 times for Ellie = $100....nets at $700/year

9. BUY ONLY WHAT WE NEED
Until finances are in a better place, no more "wants" allowed. This includes toys for the kids as well as home goods and accessories for myself and electronics and games for Gunn.
Only exception will be gifts which we will cap at $50/occassion.

10. SHOP AROUND FOR BETTER RATES
Many people I know have saved hundreds by doing this for car insurance.

11. SAVE ON GAS
Check out this article on 75 gas saving tips. Not sure how to quantify this but it's eco-friendly as well.

12. SELL STUFF
Ebay, Craigslist or Amazon baby and maternity items, as well as general household items. My things are in top notch condition so I should be able to get something decent. My dad is trying to clean out his place so I'll be doing this for him too. Maybe I'll get some commission. ha!
> With all the baby gear I have, I should be able to get at least $500 in a year's time.

13. NO BIG VACATIONS
But only until our finances are better. How we will determine when that will be? Not sure. But we haven't been on a vacation since we had Maxx and don't plan on considering any until Iann is at least 2. Before we got married we spent thousands every year on multiple trips. I definitely appreciate the luxury of going on vacations now.

14. EBATES.COM AND MYPOINTS.COM
If I'm going to buy something online anyway, might as well collect points for free money & gift cards later on.
> I should be able to earn at least $100 in cash and gift cards in a year's time. It's likely only this low since I'm trying to not do any shopping anytime soon.

15. COLLEGE FUND GIFTS
When someone asks what gifts to get the kids, the answer will always be "college fund please".

16. GIVE GENEROUSLY BUT WISELY
I have the tendency to want to treat people often so sometimes I can be naive about it. I love to give and share but I need to do it "smarter". My friends and family think that some people take advantage of me in this way and that's not doing anyone any good.

17. REVIEW MY SPENDING
Make our "loose budget" more detailed & review Amex bill and bank account balances on a regular basis. Reviewing the numbers on a regular basis keeps you in check because it's so easy to stray from a budget.

18. PRAY
Trust God with our overall finances.

Sometimes it's hard to think that all the little things will make a difference but I truly believe they will. The quantifiable savings above total to over $5k. Think about someone handing you a check for $5k one day and maybe that'll motivate you.

If you have any suggestions for any additional ways to save, please share!

2 Week Staycation

The nature of my hub's job requires him to take a 2 week vacation. So he gets to be home with the family for 2 weeks straight! I know, awesome, right?

He said he wanted to make sure we had good family time but also got a lot of our "errands" done. He made a consolidated list of everything & it's my job to plan & schedule our days so we can do as much as we can, without killing ourselves.

So here's what we have, in no particular order:

1. Mall with my MIL

2. Children's Museum of Manhattan

3. Apple/pumpking picking with my MIL & hub's brother's family

4. Bear Mountain with my MIL & maybe hub's bro's family (G loves this place.)

5. Get magic straight perm for my new post 2 kid afro

6. Ptouch label bins on shelves in garage

7. Buy cordless dustbuster (I have no idea how I survived this long without one.)
8. Buy night light? (M's been scared of the dark lately since his bedtime is dark now, with longer nights.)
9. Get smartphones (Wahoo! It would add SERIOUS efficiency to my days.)
10. Make some concerted effort to take family pictures, esp. of E since her 1st birthday is coming up.
11. Add pics to family album
12. Get flu shots
13. Reformat & reinstall my computer. It's been on the fritz.
14. Hang magnet boards by M's desk
15. Hang M's nameplate letters (Long overdue since we moved him and rearranged his room so many times.)
16. Lunch with friend for her birthday
17. Plan a party for another friend
18. Bake some sweets for a sick friend
19. Finalize all ideas for E's 1st birthday party
20. Finish guest list & send invitations for E's party
21. Make dohl go-eems for E's party
22. Pick up kiddie placemats from BuyBuyBaby
23. Update recipe book
24. Dry cleaning
25. Clean house - major items such as kitchen & bathrooms
26. Organize kids clothes
27. Old Navy returns/exchanges
28. Walmart
29. Hmart with my MIL
30. Costco with my MIL
31. Make kimchee with my MIL
32. Cook at least 2 new meals for the family. You know, not the usual.
33. Cook at least 5 new foods for E
34. Bake something for my MIL
35. Make dinner for my MIL at least 5 times. So far I'm thinking dwenjang jigae & fish, dakdoritang, linguine with white clam sauce...need more ideas. Can't go too crazy. Don't have time and she's got a typical Korean palette. Anyone??
36. Try on (buy?) a pair of Gap's skinny cords. I hear they're SUPER flattering. Check 'em out!

I definitely won't look like that in them, but I wouldn't mind if I could look half as good...after I get them hemed a good few inches. ha~!

Anyways, I'm aiming to have at least 30 of these done! Am I being naive??
I love lists. They make me happy. They make everything doable, or at least reduces the stress factor. :)

How many do you think I'll be able to get done in the 2 weeks?

Getting Out of the House

From left to right: Gunn's coffee with half & half and splenda, my sister's coffee only half filled with regular milk & splenda, Maxx's milk, Maxx's water, and now Ellie's bottle of hot water at just the right temperature so it hits room temp by the time she needs to eat.

Not included in photo: MY coffee, VERY important.

The number of drink containers I prep every Sunday am has now grown to 5. This is probably the easiest part of my Sunday morning. It wasn't too bad with just Maxx but now it really requires planning. Today was my first time back at church since I had Ellie. (I was only going to wait a month like I had with Maxx but we all got hit with colds right around Christmas so it took a bit longer.) Last night I worked out the Sunday AM sched with Gunn but even with all that prep, we were still rushing and 10 minutes late for service. Erg.

My mom lives with us in our 3 bedroom and my sis lives in the ground floor apartment. This is what my Sundays mornings will now look like in 2010:

7:00a - Wake up, wash up & get ready while Gunn feeds Ellie then washes up while watching her

7:30a - Make coffee, feed Maxx

8:00a - Find something to eat with my coffee, pack all the drinks mentioned above as well as snacks for Maxx

8:30a - Find/make something for Gunn to eat

8:45a - Gunn brings Ellie & her carseat down and has his coffee and a bite to eat

8:50a - Gunn drives my mom to her church & then comes back to pick up the rest of us

9:05a - Gunn packs all the bags and baby stroller into the car, then comes back up for Ellie

           I put on Maxx's jacket, hat, mittens & shoes and bring him to the car

9:15a - Leave for church (9:30a service)

* Can you tell I was a project manager pre-babies?

All this doesn't include packing the diaper bag the night before. Sorta sucks having a winter baby 'cause not only does everyone get sick all the time but you have to carry around extra blankets, warm clothes for babies, etc. Makes everything take so much longer.

This schedule only has 10 minutes padded in, in case anything goes wrong like having to change either kiddie's clothes a 2nd time. It doesn't even include getting Maxx dressed & giving him some milk in the morning which my mom does for me since they share a room. I don't know how moms with 2 or more kids do it without any help. My heros I tell you.

Today, I got up late so I didn't get to drink any coffee and only got to eat half a banana I shared with Maxx. And Gunn only got a hobbang with his cup of coffee. This is unfortunately becoming a pattern. Sorry Gunn. I used to never eat breakfast but ever since I got preggers the first time, I make it a point to eat something in the morning. I'm not one to eat right but I realize it makes SUCH a difference.

I was so focused on getting to church on time this morning that I forgot why I go to church. But as I stood there in the theater during praise, it all felt so good. I missed worship time. With life being so much more hectic now, there is less God in my life but now is the time that I need more. Hopefully, in near future posts, I'll have figured out how to do that.

So the only thing I forgot to do this morning was pack my camera. I wanted to take pics of our church kiddies. I swear they are the cutest things in the world.

Here's Maxx & his bud Kayla before their younger sibs were born.

I'll have to take a bunch of pics sometime to show you how freakin' cute all the kiddies are. For now, I leave you with another Maxx video. It's for my chef sister who taught Maxx how to say "oil". I swear, Maxx is getting cuter, smarter and more entertaining every day. I'm probably so biased right now 'cause he doesn't want anyone lately, except me. He's extra loving towards me lately and I'm a down right sucker for it!

Why?

It's been ages since I've Xanga'd cause life got a bit hectic when I had a baby. Now, a year and a half and another baby later, I've decided to start blogging again. As it is, I can barely find time to eat and shower but I'm determined to do my best to decently keep up with it...the site that is. It all started cause I recently started following a few mom blogs that I found myself really liking. I figured, I think I can do this...I am a pretty open person, right?

So I thought time was flying with just M but now with E too, OMG, the weeks go by and I have no idea what I did that week and I feel like I've gotten so little done. I don't want time to fly by and realize years later that I didn't make holidays as special as I'd liked to for my family, or that I didn't teach my kids certain things when it was my job to, or worst of all, that I didn't fulfill God's purpose for my life. Being the productive natured God fearing person that I am, that scares the crap out of me. With the new year starting, I found myself needing to refocus.

Gees, that sounded really serious which is so unlike me. My postings will probably be far from it, too. hahah...
I mainly just want to document my family's life so I can see if I'm being and doing all the things I hoped to as a wife and mom, and just as me. And also in a sort of J&K+8 way, easily record my kids lives. I probably won't be able write as much as I'd like to about G since he's the private introverted one of the two of us and he'll probably be reading every post...boo.

So yeah, here I go...